Telling our kids.

From the very beginning my biggest fear was the possibility of impacting my children with this decision. They didn't get a choice in this and I had to make sure I was protecting them. After grappling with the
decision I came to this conclusion; I want, more than anything else in this world, for my children to be good people. I want them to root for the underdog, stand up for the weak and give what they can to make the world a better place. As parents we lead by example, and what better example than to help give a family something that has given me the most happiness and purpose in this life?

We have three kids ages 6, 3 and 1. We decided that we would wait and tell them when we were ready to go public with our news. The psychologist we spoke to in New Jersey recommended a book called The Kangaroo Pouch which is a children's book 
about surrogacy. The book shows how 
one kangaroo makes the decision to carry a 
baby kangaroo for another because they are 
very sad that they are unable to carry their own. I talked (mostly with my 6 year old because my 3 year old was busy doing summersaaults and jumping off the couch....all boy) that some people can't have children of their own because they have a "broken tummy". I went on to say "Isn't that sad? We would be so sad if I couldn't have you guys. We are all done having kids, our family is complete, wouldn't it be nice if we help another couple who can't have children of their own?" My 6 year old was very receptive to this, she thought it was a great idea. I told her that the doctors would put the babies in my tummy and after my tummy grew bigger and bigger, I would have the babies and we would hand them to their parents.

I was very clear that these babies would not be their siblings and that they would not be coming home  with us. I also added that they could come to the hospital and see the babies when they were born and we could maybe see them on their birthday.

My daughter made a great connection that someone else had her dad in their tummy and gave him to Grandma. My husband is adopted, so it is not exactly the same... but a great connection nonetheless.

Both of the older kids (6 and 3) understand now, that I have 2 babies in my tummy and that they aren't our children, my 6 year old is very forthcoming with this information with anyone we see :-)
We will continue to answer any questions they have and reinforce the fact that we will not be bringing the babies home. I am excited for all 3 of our children to meet Sara and Jonathan this weekend when they come for the 12 week ultrasound and appointment. Can't wait!