13 Week Visit

One thing that helped me get through the goodbye at the hospital was knowing that it wasn't forever. Before the twins were born we had decided to plan a trip for my whole family to visit them over the summer. 

So, last Friday we hopped on a plane and flew to Philidelphia. When we got there I couldn't believe how big the babies had gotten, these two little 5 pound newborns were no longer newborns! Asher, who was smaller than his sister at birth had far surpassed her....that skinny little baby got the cutest chubby cheeks and was just the sweetest little thing! They referred to him as a meatball...love it!!!

Celeste had grown a lot too but she is still petite and man is she pretty! 

I was holding both of them and my kids were opening gifts when Sara said "Can you believe you gave birth to all of the children in this room?". What a profound moment, to look at 5 healthy children that I helped bring to this Earth....wow!

We only stayed the weekend, but it was great to spend time with them. We also went to the Philidelphia Zoo, a neat park and ate some awesome cheesesteaks. 

I'm honored to be able to watch these two grow up! 

8 Weeks Postpartum

I've been thinking about blogging for the last few weeks and just now sat down to do it. It has been 8 weeks since the twins were born and I get questions all the time about how they're doing and how I'm doing. 

First of all, the babies are growing and healthy and as cute as can be! Little Asher has passed Celeste by, as I knew he probably would. They are filling out and so cute. I talked to Sara a few days ago and she sounds so happy. 

In a month my whole family will fly to Philly to see Sara, Jon and the babies. We are all so excited to see them in person again. 

As for me, I am doing well, life is getting back to normal. I went back to work two weeks after the babies were born, I could have taken more time but felt good and ready to get back. The day we left the hospital was difficult because I knew my part in this journey was coming to an end and that I wouldn't see this family for a while. Giving the twins to their parents was not hard, the bond I formed with Sara and Jon made it easy. I had the mindset the whole time that I am the carrier (not the mom) "Aunt Des" as I am now referred to. I loved the babies, I enjoyed the pregnancy, but in a different way than I enjoyed and loved my own. It was a different bond, but a bond nonetheless and knowing that I would continue to be in this family's life made that possible. 

We are enjoying a spring filled with soccer, t-ball and softball, the days are flying by and (being an elementary school teacher) I'm looking forward to a summer with my kids. They ask about the twins now and then, they're thrilled to get to ride on a big plane and see them next month. I will blog about the trip and post more pics. 

Asher and Celeste wearing their Iowa Hawkeyes outfits from Aunt Des and Uncle Johnny. 

After the Birth

After the Birth

After I got back from the operating room I got to see Sara, Jon and the babies again. I felt so relieved, like I had been holding my breath for 9 months and I could breathe again...I could pass the baton on to Sara and Jonathan.

Once I warmed up I got to hold the babies, they were absolutely perfect! My family came to visit and meet Celeste and Asher.

After this we gave Sara and Jon some alone time with Asher and Celeste. I'd had the babies all to myself for quite some time and it was now time for their parents to get that chance.

In the next couple of days Jon's parents came from Chicago to meet their grandchildren and a photographer friend of mine came to do a hospital photo shoot. I soaked up as many cuddles as I could, knowing that the twins would be leaving Iowa soon to go home to New York. Sara and Jonathan were so wonderful about letting me hold the babies as much as I wanted to.

 Johnny brought our kids to meet the twins, this was very important to me, I needed them to have closure too.

Two days after Asher and Celeste were born we were all ready to go home. It was a bittersweet goodbye, I was so proud to have helped Jon, Sara and the babies become a family but it was hard to let them all go. I wasn't sure how I would feel at this point, I was sad that they were leaving and I knew I would miss them but there was a peace about it all. I was ready to go home to my own babies and give them 100% of me again.

I said my goodbyes to the babies, there were tears for sure. 

Then the 4 of us (Sara, Jon, Johnny and I) hugged, we were all in tears in the entrance of the hospital. (Crying again as I type.) It was such a powerful moment for without any one of us, these little ones would not be here right now.

The Unsung Hero

It is obvious that it took Jonathan, Sara and myself to bring these babies into this world, however, there is one man that deserves A LOT of credit. When I first brought the idea of being a carrier up to Johnny he was against it, not for selfish reasons as he very well should have been. He wasn't afraid of picking up the slack at home or of his wife being hormonal, gaining weight and going through all the changes that pregnancy brings. He told me that he didn't want to see me go through labor again and that he was worried for my mental and physical well-being. He knows how emotional the births of our children were and he thought it would be too hard to give the baby up in the end.

After meeting with another couple that had carried and reading lots of articles he trusted that I knew what I was doing. From that moment on, he was all in, his support never wavered. Johnny flew to New Jersey with me, helped give me shots, carried every load of laundry up and down the stairs, picked up kids when I had appointments, this is a fraction of what he did. Most of all, he stood by my side while I went through childbirth once again. There are no words that can describe how much I love this man and how much I know he must love me. This is not a flattering picture of myself but it's the only picture I have of Johnny before the birth.

Being Home

In the past few days after going home I have steadily felt better and better. It is strange to recover without a newborn baby. I get texts from Sara and Jon all the time, pictures of the babies and asking me how I am. I do miss them greatly, but we plan to see them sometime this summer. By then they will be smiling and cooing and I really can't wait to see how much they will have grown. We are Aunt Des and Uncle Johnny, we are family.


A few more thank-yous.

I have to thank a few more people, of course my family, friends, coworkers and community for their support and encouragement, your thoughts, prayers and well-wishes were amazingly overwhelming. My mother-in-law, she helped so much with the kids. A big thank you to my nurse, Julie, and midwife, Pam...they were simply amazing. I literally don't think they left my room! Every single nurse and doctor at Genesis, they handled our unique situation with such professionalism, and understanding and were so accommodating to the babies' parents. JBD, the hospital social worker, she was behind the scenes making sure everything went as planned, there are so many pieces to this puzzle that were seamless because of her. Tina, at our surrogacy agency, she helped me make the decision to become a surrogate and was there for me throughout the entire process, she's an angel. There are specific thank yous that I will give in person but please know that it truly does take a village and I am so happy that so many of you chose to take this journey with us.

The Birth

They are here! After 12 weeks of injections, two trips to New Jersey and 38 weeks of waiting, two sweet babies were born. Sara and Jon's journey started long before this, and they are so in love with their little miracles.

The Induction 

Monday was 38 weeks, I can't believe we made it that far. I think they would have stayed in another week or maybe two if we had let them. The doctors informed us that in the last two weeks of a twin pregnancy, the risk of delivering  the babies can outweigh the benefits of keeping them in. With limited space there's a chance that one or both babies could stop thriving. 

We came in at 7 in the morning, none of us had slept a whole lot....how do you sleep when you know you're going to have twins the next day? 

I started the day dilated to 3cm 70-80% effaced. tested positive for the GBS (a very common skin bacteria that over 40% of people will test positive for. It doesn't affect the carrier but can affect the babies) and I needed 2 doses (4 hours apart) of antibiotic before I delivered so they started a very low dose of petocin along with the antibiotic. I wasn't really feeling any contractions at this point. 

By noon I got the second dose of antibiotic and they increased the petocin to get things going. This is when labor began. I had to stay in bed or the chair for the most part because they had to monitor 2 babies. This is not the way I am used to laboring, I'm used to walking the halls and taking charge. Artificial contractions (from petocin) and being relatively imobile was not the vision I had of labor but I had the most amazing husband, nurse and midwife that never left my side.  They had more confidence in me than I had in myself. 

My midwife gave me the opportunity to change positions as labor intensified, she was seriously amazing...rubbing my back and talking me through each contraction. 

Sara and Jon were in the room the whole time, but I was in the zone and not really speaking to anyone. Hardcore labor puts you in a completely different state of mind, almost meditative. I knew they were there though, supporting me and anticipating their babies' arrival. 

At about 2:30 or so I was dilated to 6-7 and my confidence was wavering. Soon after this, the contractions were very intense and I told my midwife that I didn't think I could do it. She said "give me 5 minutes on your hands and knees and I'll get you some meds" (this is a great position to move the baby down) sure enough about 5 minutes later I was fully dilated and ready to move to the operating room for delivery. She knew I was close and I'm so glad she didn't let me cave. Johnny, Jonathan and Sara got their white jumpsuits on and their blue

caps and we were ready to go.

As they were wheeling me to the operating room I asked my midwife "What can I have?" and she said "Twins!"

It's funny to me now lol. 

Delivery

Once we got into the operating room it all happened so fast. They didn't even move me to the operating room bed, I was ready to push baby Asher out, it was a couple of pushes and he was out. Jon got to catch him and emotion swept the room. They put Asher on my stomach so the cord could be cut. I am bawling right now just thinking about it. 

After the cord was cut they brought Asher to the warmer I saw Sara's face at this point, she was bawling and so happy..that was the moment...the moment I had been dreaming of. A pink, vibrant, healthy baby and two happy parents. They let me hold him once he got warm, he got really quiet and was very alert. He looked JUST like Jonathan! 

For that brief moment I forgot...."I have to do that again!" I realized that I had no idea how this part worked. Would I have to continue to labor? How long would it take? My questions were soon answered with a contraction and pressure, my midwife checked me and then broke baby B's water bag. They took Baby Asher back to the warmer. Baby B was ready to come out at this point. A couple more good pushes and 9 minutes after her brother, out comes Celeste, I found out later Jonathan caught her too. Like I said, it's all a bit of a blur. 

They put her on me to cut the cord and a huge wave of relief hit me. I did it, two healthy babies, a family created. No words can explain the emotions in that room, elation, relief, gratitude, pride...love.  

Post Birth (Possibly TMI :-)

After Celeste was born and she got warmed up they brought her to me so I could hold her. She was another perfect little peanut. After a few minutes I gave her back, it was time to get the placentas out (you can skip this part if you're squeamish). The first placenta came out without much effort but the second one was a different story. The second placenta had not detached, this is called retained placenta; this is when the placenta doesn't detach from the uterus on its own. This can cause bleeding and possibly hemorrhage. The midwife pulled on the cord and the cord detached from the placenta leaving her no choice but to manually remove the placenta. At this point they gave me some pain meds through my IV and called in the doctor. After several painful tries the anesthesiologist showed up and they decided I would need a D&C which also meant I'd be given a spinal. This is where I broke down, there was no way I just gave birth naturally to get a spinal. The doctor said she would try one last time, luckily she was able to get it. 

Soon I was returned to my room and got to see the babies. Asher was 5lb 1ounce and Celeste was 5lb 9 ounces, both 18 inches long. Though they were small, both were completely healthy. Absolutley no NICU time! 

I will post soon about the days following their birth along with pictures. 

37 Weeks 4 Days

 

Oh my gosh, just 3 days left...I'm getting nervous! I've never known when I was going to have a baby before...it's crazy to know for sure when they will be here. 

We had an ultrasound and NST before our appointment with the OB today. Babies are still both head down and have plenty of fluid. I am dilated to 3 and 70-80% effaced. We have a good start once labor begins. 

Jon and Sara came over last night and we enjoyed a relaxing and peaceful night in...just kidding....my kids hung on them and wrestled with them and I believe Easton may have inadvertently thrown food at them (he got a little excited while eating dinner). 

Here is a picture from our photo shoot. 

I feel good and I'm still sleeping well. My only complaint would be my swollen legs and feet. Today was my last day of work for a bit, I won't be gone too long 2-4 weeks at most. I suppose my next post might have a picture of a baby or two in it!!!!

This is a shirt Sara got me a while back. 

37 Weeks

We are down to ONE week...it is so surreal to think in one week these babies will no longer be inside of me. I feel good except my Fred Flintstone feet...I am going to post a pic to try to do justice as to just how large they have become. 

Other than that, everything is going well, we have 2 doctor appointments this week and my hope is that the babies will come sometime this weekend on their own. I'm not excited about the idea of being induced. The good part of being induced is that I will know that I have kept these babies in every last second that I could. 

 

⬆️ Seriously can't do justice with a picture lol. 

36 Weeks 4 Days

Jon made it to Iowa despite the weather this week. They came to our home for dinner on Tuesday and our crazy kids gave them a dose of reality...let's just say they weren't shy. 

Tonight we had a non-stress test and saw the doctor. My blood pressure was a little higher than usual so they sent me to the hospital for bloodwork and ultrasound. The bloodwork came back normal, my blood pressure went down and the ultrasound showed plenty of fluid. Both babies are looking amazing. Baby A is around 4lb 11oz and his sister is around 5lb 2oz. This isn't exact but it sounded good to us. They are both close to (or over) 5lbs which is awesome. 

We finally left the hospital at a quarter to nine and made our way to the hotel to have a late dinner with Jon's parents, the poor things were supposed to meet us at 6:30. They were delightful and worried about the babies. We assured them that everything was fine and enjoyed our meal and time together. 

In ten days or less the babies will be here and I can't wait!! 

36 Weeks

In 14 days or less these babies will be here. I am feeling excited and a little nervous. While I have had amazing labors and deliveries in the past, I got nervous with each. There's the pain factor of course and all the "what ifs". I can't wait for the moment that they are safely in their parents' arms.

Sara arrived Thursday and we had a non stress test, ultrasound and OB appointment on Friday. Everything looked great, babies are thriving and cord blood flow looked good. They did not do measurements on babies because it had only been 2 weeks since the last time.

Jon's flight in today was canceled because of the weather so hopefully he can fly in tomorrow. 

We have plans to meet Jon's parents on Friday evening, my oldest daughter's birthday party is Saturday, and we have pictures planned for Sunday- so hopefully  the babies know they are to stay in for one more week for sure :-)

I am feeling good, my feet are really starting to swell by the end of the day, but other than that, I can't complain. 

35 Weeks

Down to 3 weeks before these babies make their grand entrance into the world. I feel good, trying to enjoy my last days of pregnancy. 

At my appointment on Friday both babies  passed the non-stress test with flying colors. Baby girl passed first this time, she's usually the more relaxed baby. Maybe having flipped to a head-down position has given her the leg room she needed to really get moving. 

I am 2cm dilated and 70% effaced so when the time comes we will not be wasting any time getting to the hospital. 

Sara comes on Thursday so she can be at the ultrasound Friday morning. Jon will be here on Monday, they will stay from this point until the babies are born. I told Sara that I will feel so much better when they get here, I know I'm not in control of this, but I would feel awful if they weren't here for the birth.

No signs of labor at this point, a little water retention but nothing major. 

34 Weeks

Eeek! One month from today (possibly sooner) we get to see what these two little peanuts look like! As I mentioned this weekend, Baby B flipped and is now in a head down position. This was great news, twins who are head down can be delivered naturally. I realize this isn't a sure thing, the babies still have time to change positions before labor and Baby B still may change positions after her brother has been delivered. If Baby B changes positions after delivery they will try to turn her externally and/or internally. As long as she tolerates this, we can proceed with a vaginal delivery for her as well. There is a chance that I would need a c-section with the second baby, but the odds have gone down for that as long as she stays head down.

I have had 3 un-medicated births with my own children and would love to be able to do this again with the twins. My reason for wanting an un-medicated birth include;
1. The babies won't have a chance of suffering side effects of the drugs.
2. There's less of a chance for an unnecessary c-section (sometimes epidurals cause the person in labor's blood pressure and/or heart rate to fluctuate in an unhealthy way and sometimes the babies don't tolerate the epidural well with fluctuating heart-rates)
3. Not having an epidural means the woman in labor can be mobile...laying on your back can cause labor to stop progressing. Changing positions, walking around and being in the tub helped my first 3 labors to go quickly and smoothly with no complications.

I don't have anything against epidurals, in fact, I have said for all 3 labors that I have already been through, that I would be open to one if I felt like I couldn't manage my pain and if labor lasted longer than I felt I could handle. I would never judge anyone else for getting an epidural, just as I wouldn't expect to be judged for not getting one.

I also hope and pray for a vaginal delivery because of the benefits for the babies.
1. When babies are born vaginally they have less chance for respiratory problems because the pressure expels the amniotic fluid in the babies' lungs.
2.  When babies are born vaginally they pick up a protective bacteria that they ingest. This bacteria colonizes in their intestines and forms a balanced immune system as they develop from childhood into adulthood. (americanpregnancy.org)

Also there is a lower rate of maternal mortality and less recovery time- both sound good to me :-)


We found out that the babies are just under 4lb each (3lb 12oz and 3lb 14oz), these measurements are approximate, based on the ultrasound, they have grown nearly one pound in the last 4 weeks. The perinatologist said that this was perfectly fine growth and based on genetics they just might not be very big babies. I'm hoping to keep them growing for at least a few more weeks and get them up to 5 pounds a piece. I am hoping they can avoid NICU time and be ready to go home soon after their birth. Only time will tell when these two will make their grand entrance!

She flipped!!!

I can't wait for Monday to post...we had our ultrasound yesterday and both babies are now head down! I had a hunch, but wasn't positive. This is great news because now we have an excellent chance at a safe natural delivery. 

Will post more on Monday, hopefully this snow doesn't ruin our plans with Sara today, but keeping the babies off of nasty winter roads is probably the better choice. 

Check out this gorgeous picture...two little heads side by side. 

Our Profile

When I decided to pursue surrogacy I did a bit of research and found an agency that was run a little differently than most, this agency focused on matching intended parents with surrogates in a personal way. Initially I filled out an application and then began emailing back and forth with the director of client relations at The Surrogacy Experience, Tina. She had been a surrogate herself (twice) and was very open with me about the process, we discussed my fears and the fears of my family. After I convinced my husband that I was serious and that this idea wasn't as crazy as he had thought, I proceeded with the daunting task of paperwork...medical records, background checks, blood work and a home study (we got a nice visit from Tina). This process took a good month before we could create our profile and ultimately be matched with a compatible couple.

I often get the question "Why did you want to be a surrogate?". I came across our profile today on my computer and I feel like it pretty much sums up the reasons. It feels like so long ago that we created this, it's neat to think that because of this little profile Sara and Jonathan chose to take our family on this incredible journey with them.

I have heard it is hard to read the profile if you're not on a PC so I have pasted the text below the profile. 

My name is Desiree Driscoll, I am 31 years old. My husband, Johnny and I have been married for nearly 8 years. We live in a very small town in Iowa where we are raising our 3 children; Cadence (6), Easton (3), and Tenley (1).

I grew up in rural Clinton Iowa with my parents and 2 sisters. My mom stayed at home while my dad worked as a train engineer. I am very close with my sisters and mother whom live about 3 hours away but sadly, my father passed away from cancer when I was a senior in high school. My husband was adopted when he was a baby and we have a close relationship with his adoptive parents whom live just up the road from us.  I met my husband when I was a senior in high school and we both graduated from the same college. I got a teaching job shortly after graduation and my husband started a lawn mowing and landscaping business. I received my master’s degree shortly after giving birth to our first child and I have been teaching 4^th grade for 8 years. 

My family enjoys being outdoors and playing sports. My husband and I are very active, he plays basketball, I run, and we both play softball. I love to take pictures, bake and watch movies. I am a member of a Relay for Life team which raises money for the American Cancer Society. I am passionate about teaching and being a mom.

I have been looking into becoming a gestational carrier ever since I had our first child. I loved being pregnant and couldn’t imagine a day when I would be done having babies. Well, that day came; my husband and I decided that 3 children was the right number for us. I always told my sisters that if they could not carry a baby, I would do it for them. My older sister is now pregnant with her second child and my younger sister is pregnant with her first. Realizing they would not need my help, I still had the urge to help someone else.

The potential of being matched with intended parents is so exciting. I hope that I can help a family have a baby of their own and appreciate the opportunity to give someone the greatest gift I have been given in this life.  Open communication is important to me, and I would like the intended parents to be involved in as much of the pregnancy as possible.  I am excited to share this experience with the intended parents.  After the birth, I would enjoy receiving updates and photos.

33 Weeks

The count is down to 5 weeks or less before the babies arrive. My belly is growing steadily and I still feel good, my oldest daughter (6) let me know that my shirt was just too small the other day..apparently it isn't socially acceptable for a teacher to wear a belly shirt..who knew? :-) 

Yet another snow day today, we are all ready for winter to be over, it scares me to have nights like last night with blizzard conditions and impassable roads...not sure how we would have made it to the hospital if these babies had decided to come early. Also, Sara and Jonathan surely wouldn't have been able to get here with weather conditions as they were. It's good to know that in 5 weeks it is March, spring is literally right around the corner!!

Friday I had the first of our (now weekly) non-stress tests. At my OB office I sit in a nice comfy chair while they put heart rate monitors on my belly to monitor the babies. They are looking for 3 changes in heart rate within an hour (it's a bit more technical, but that's the basis of it) the babies should have accelerations when they move. The active baby boy "passed" within 5 minutes and Baby Girl took her time and passed within about 40. 

I can't wait to see if their personalities in utero match their personalities after they're born. I would guess the boy to be super active (a lot like my son), and the girl to be very chill and passive.

All hooked up. ⬇️

In 4 days we get to see the peanuts again via ultrasound, I can't wait to see their mom again and to see how much they have grown in a month. Sara is going to spend the weekend in Iowa. We are all very excited!

32 Weeks

6 weeks to go, feeling good. I felt a lot of growth this week, the babies are definitely getting bigger. In a week and a half Sara is coming to visit and we get to see just how much they've grown at our final scheduled ultrasound. 

My son (3, nearly 4) has been really "into" the babies recently. He randomly puts his hand on my belly, kisses them goodnight and asks me more questions about Sara. Today he asked why Sara's tummy was broken and I explained to him again that she had been sick. He usually responds to my explanations by running and playing with his toys, but I can tell he just needs time to process and absorb. I always make sure he knows that the babies will not be coming home with us. 

I talked with Sara today and she suggested my family plan a trip to come to New York, late May, to visit them and see the babies. The babies will be 3-4 months by then. I loved this suggestion, I think it will help me to say goodbye after they are born and it will help my kids, knowing it won't be long before we get to  ride on a big airplane and visit Sara, Jonathan and the babies soon.  

Here are a couple of 32 week pictures. 

31 Weeks

 Monday we were 31 weeks, time is going fast and each week is so precious as these babies gain weight and get ready to meet their parents. 

I am feeling confident about labor and delivery, I trust that my body knows what to do and I have a wonderful midwife/doctor team. 

I am a little nervous that I will go early and that Sara and Jon won't make it in time, I want so badly for them to see their little ones enter the world. Those of us who have been there before know what a profound moment it is to see your child take their first breath...and to hear that first cry. 

Sara will be back on the 31st for our final scheduled ultrasound, we will also have an appointment with my OB and a social worker from the hospital to work out a birth plan. I can't wait for her to feel these little kick boxers in action...they are in constant motion, it seems, these days. 

Here are a couple of 31 week pictures.

My birthday is today and my principal at the school I teach at went all out with my twins themed treats. 

Double stuffed Oreos

Double chocolate chip cookies

Cupcakes with 2 peas in a pod on top

Bird nests with 2 eggs in them

Baby Carrots with "dill" dip....to name a few. 

Feeling lots of love and support from my friends, family and coworkers. 

8 Weeks Left!

I had a level 2 ultrasound today to check on the growth of the babies, it went so well!!! 

Each baby is measuring approximately 3 pounds, I have 6 pounds of baby in me...that's just amazing. In 8 weeks these babies will hopefully be 6 pounds or so. 

Their positions haven't changed and probably won't, but the perinatologist said we have a good chance of being able to deliver vaginally. They will induce at 38 weeks because the risk of one or both of the babies not thriving outweigh the benefits of keeping them in for 2 more weeks.

Below are comparison pictures of 28 weeks and 29 weeks.

28 Weeks

29 Weeks 

(You can see the top of my belly really popped out) 

I will be 30 weeks on Monday. 

We will have one more ultrasound at 34 weeks (in 4 weeks), Sara will come for that one and we will discuss a birth plan. I can't wait for her to feel these two little ninjas in action! 💙💜

Thought I'd add a 30 weeks shot. ⬆️