After the Birth

After the Birth

After I got back from the operating room I got to see Sara, Jon and the babies again. I felt so relieved, like I had been holding my breath for 9 months and I could breathe again...I could pass the baton on to Sara and Jonathan.

Once I warmed up I got to hold the babies, they were absolutely perfect! My family came to visit and meet Celeste and Asher.

After this we gave Sara and Jon some alone time with Asher and Celeste. I'd had the babies all to myself for quite some time and it was now time for their parents to get that chance.

In the next couple of days Jon's parents came from Chicago to meet their grandchildren and a photographer friend of mine came to do a hospital photo shoot. I soaked up as many cuddles as I could, knowing that the twins would be leaving Iowa soon to go home to New York. Sara and Jonathan were so wonderful about letting me hold the babies as much as I wanted to.

 Johnny brought our kids to meet the twins, this was very important to me, I needed them to have closure too.

Two days after Asher and Celeste were born we were all ready to go home. It was a bittersweet goodbye, I was so proud to have helped Jon, Sara and the babies become a family but it was hard to let them all go. I wasn't sure how I would feel at this point, I was sad that they were leaving and I knew I would miss them but there was a peace about it all. I was ready to go home to my own babies and give them 100% of me again.

I said my goodbyes to the babies, there were tears for sure. 

Then the 4 of us (Sara, Jon, Johnny and I) hugged, we were all in tears in the entrance of the hospital. (Crying again as I type.) It was such a powerful moment for without any one of us, these little ones would not be here right now.

The Unsung Hero

It is obvious that it took Jonathan, Sara and myself to bring these babies into this world, however, there is one man that deserves A LOT of credit. When I first brought the idea of being a carrier up to Johnny he was against it, not for selfish reasons as he very well should have been. He wasn't afraid of picking up the slack at home or of his wife being hormonal, gaining weight and going through all the changes that pregnancy brings. He told me that he didn't want to see me go through labor again and that he was worried for my mental and physical well-being. He knows how emotional the births of our children were and he thought it would be too hard to give the baby up in the end.

After meeting with another couple that had carried and reading lots of articles he trusted that I knew what I was doing. From that moment on, he was all in, his support never wavered. Johnny flew to New Jersey with me, helped give me shots, carried every load of laundry up and down the stairs, picked up kids when I had appointments, this is a fraction of what he did. Most of all, he stood by my side while I went through childbirth once again. There are no words that can describe how much I love this man and how much I know he must love me. This is not a flattering picture of myself but it's the only picture I have of Johnny before the birth.

Being Home

In the past few days after going home I have steadily felt better and better. It is strange to recover without a newborn baby. I get texts from Sara and Jon all the time, pictures of the babies and asking me how I am. I do miss them greatly, but we plan to see them sometime this summer. By then they will be smiling and cooing and I really can't wait to see how much they will have grown. We are Aunt Des and Uncle Johnny, we are family.


A few more thank-yous.

I have to thank a few more people, of course my family, friends, coworkers and community for their support and encouragement, your thoughts, prayers and well-wishes were amazingly overwhelming. My mother-in-law, she helped so much with the kids. A big thank you to my nurse, Julie, and midwife, Pam...they were simply amazing. I literally don't think they left my room! Every single nurse and doctor at Genesis, they handled our unique situation with such professionalism, and understanding and were so accommodating to the babies' parents. JBD, the hospital social worker, she was behind the scenes making sure everything went as planned, there are so many pieces to this puzzle that were seamless because of her. Tina, at our surrogacy agency, she helped me make the decision to become a surrogate and was there for me throughout the entire process, she's an angel. There are specific thank yous that I will give in person but please know that it truly does take a village and I am so happy that so many of you chose to take this journey with us.

The Birth

They are here! After 12 weeks of injections, two trips to New Jersey and 38 weeks of waiting, two sweet babies were born. Sara and Jon's journey started long before this, and they are so in love with their little miracles.

The Induction 

Monday was 38 weeks, I can't believe we made it that far. I think they would have stayed in another week or maybe two if we had let them. The doctors informed us that in the last two weeks of a twin pregnancy, the risk of delivering  the babies can outweigh the benefits of keeping them in. With limited space there's a chance that one or both babies could stop thriving. 

We came in at 7 in the morning, none of us had slept a whole lot....how do you sleep when you know you're going to have twins the next day? 

I started the day dilated to 3cm 70-80% effaced. tested positive for the GBS (a very common skin bacteria that over 40% of people will test positive for. It doesn't affect the carrier but can affect the babies) and I needed 2 doses (4 hours apart) of antibiotic before I delivered so they started a very low dose of petocin along with the antibiotic. I wasn't really feeling any contractions at this point. 

By noon I got the second dose of antibiotic and they increased the petocin to get things going. This is when labor began. I had to stay in bed or the chair for the most part because they had to monitor 2 babies. This is not the way I am used to laboring, I'm used to walking the halls and taking charge. Artificial contractions (from petocin) and being relatively imobile was not the vision I had of labor but I had the most amazing husband, nurse and midwife that never left my side.  They had more confidence in me than I had in myself. 

My midwife gave me the opportunity to change positions as labor intensified, she was seriously amazing...rubbing my back and talking me through each contraction. 

Sara and Jon were in the room the whole time, but I was in the zone and not really speaking to anyone. Hardcore labor puts you in a completely different state of mind, almost meditative. I knew they were there though, supporting me and anticipating their babies' arrival. 

At about 2:30 or so I was dilated to 6-7 and my confidence was wavering. Soon after this, the contractions were very intense and I told my midwife that I didn't think I could do it. She said "give me 5 minutes on your hands and knees and I'll get you some meds" (this is a great position to move the baby down) sure enough about 5 minutes later I was fully dilated and ready to move to the operating room for delivery. She knew I was close and I'm so glad she didn't let me cave. Johnny, Jonathan and Sara got their white jumpsuits on and their blue

caps and we were ready to go.

As they were wheeling me to the operating room I asked my midwife "What can I have?" and she said "Twins!"

It's funny to me now lol. 

Delivery

Once we got into the operating room it all happened so fast. They didn't even move me to the operating room bed, I was ready to push baby Asher out, it was a couple of pushes and he was out. Jon got to catch him and emotion swept the room. They put Asher on my stomach so the cord could be cut. I am bawling right now just thinking about it. 

After the cord was cut they brought Asher to the warmer I saw Sara's face at this point, she was bawling and so happy..that was the moment...the moment I had been dreaming of. A pink, vibrant, healthy baby and two happy parents. They let me hold him once he got warm, he got really quiet and was very alert. He looked JUST like Jonathan! 

For that brief moment I forgot...."I have to do that again!" I realized that I had no idea how this part worked. Would I have to continue to labor? How long would it take? My questions were soon answered with a contraction and pressure, my midwife checked me and then broke baby B's water bag. They took Baby Asher back to the warmer. Baby B was ready to come out at this point. A couple more good pushes and 9 minutes after her brother, out comes Celeste, I found out later Jonathan caught her too. Like I said, it's all a bit of a blur. 

They put her on me to cut the cord and a huge wave of relief hit me. I did it, two healthy babies, a family created. No words can explain the emotions in that room, elation, relief, gratitude, pride...love.  

Post Birth (Possibly TMI :-)

After Celeste was born and she got warmed up they brought her to me so I could hold her. She was another perfect little peanut. After a few minutes I gave her back, it was time to get the placentas out (you can skip this part if you're squeamish). The first placenta came out without much effort but the second one was a different story. The second placenta had not detached, this is called retained placenta; this is when the placenta doesn't detach from the uterus on its own. This can cause bleeding and possibly hemorrhage. The midwife pulled on the cord and the cord detached from the placenta leaving her no choice but to manually remove the placenta. At this point they gave me some pain meds through my IV and called in the doctor. After several painful tries the anesthesiologist showed up and they decided I would need a D&C which also meant I'd be given a spinal. This is where I broke down, there was no way I just gave birth naturally to get a spinal. The doctor said she would try one last time, luckily she was able to get it. 

Soon I was returned to my room and got to see the babies. Asher was 5lb 1ounce and Celeste was 5lb 9 ounces, both 18 inches long. Though they were small, both were completely healthy. Absolutley no NICU time! 

I will post soon about the days following their birth along with pictures.