13 Week Visit

One thing that helped me get through the goodbye at the hospital was knowing that it wasn't forever. Before the twins were born we had decided to plan a trip for my whole family to visit them over the summer. 

So, last Friday we hopped on a plane and flew to Philidelphia. When we got there I couldn't believe how big the babies had gotten, these two little 5 pound newborns were no longer newborns! Asher, who was smaller than his sister at birth had far surpassed her....that skinny little baby got the cutest chubby cheeks and was just the sweetest little thing! They referred to him as a meatball...love it!!!

Celeste had grown a lot too but she is still petite and man is she pretty! 

I was holding both of them and my kids were opening gifts when Sara said "Can you believe you gave birth to all of the children in this room?". What a profound moment, to look at 5 healthy children that I helped bring to this Earth....wow!

We only stayed the weekend, but it was great to spend time with them. We also went to the Philidelphia Zoo, a neat park and ate some awesome cheesesteaks. 

I'm honored to be able to watch these two grow up! 

8 Weeks Postpartum

I've been thinking about blogging for the last few weeks and just now sat down to do it. It has been 8 weeks since the twins were born and I get questions all the time about how they're doing and how I'm doing. 

First of all, the babies are growing and healthy and as cute as can be! Little Asher has passed Celeste by, as I knew he probably would. They are filling out and so cute. I talked to Sara a few days ago and she sounds so happy. 

In a month my whole family will fly to Philly to see Sara, Jon and the babies. We are all so excited to see them in person again. 

As for me, I am doing well, life is getting back to normal. I went back to work two weeks after the babies were born, I could have taken more time but felt good and ready to get back. The day we left the hospital was difficult because I knew my part in this journey was coming to an end and that I wouldn't see this family for a while. Giving the twins to their parents was not hard, the bond I formed with Sara and Jon made it easy. I had the mindset the whole time that I am the carrier (not the mom) "Aunt Des" as I am now referred to. I loved the babies, I enjoyed the pregnancy, but in a different way than I enjoyed and loved my own. It was a different bond, but a bond nonetheless and knowing that I would continue to be in this family's life made that possible. 

We are enjoying a spring filled with soccer, t-ball and softball, the days are flying by and (being an elementary school teacher) I'm looking forward to a summer with my kids. They ask about the twins now and then, they're thrilled to get to ride on a big plane and see them next month. I will blog about the trip and post more pics. 

Asher and Celeste wearing their Iowa Hawkeyes outfits from Aunt Des and Uncle Johnny. 

After the Birth

After the Birth

After I got back from the operating room I got to see Sara, Jon and the babies again. I felt so relieved, like I had been holding my breath for 9 months and I could breathe again...I could pass the baton on to Sara and Jonathan.

Once I warmed up I got to hold the babies, they were absolutely perfect! My family came to visit and meet Celeste and Asher.

After this we gave Sara and Jon some alone time with Asher and Celeste. I'd had the babies all to myself for quite some time and it was now time for their parents to get that chance.

In the next couple of days Jon's parents came from Chicago to meet their grandchildren and a photographer friend of mine came to do a hospital photo shoot. I soaked up as many cuddles as I could, knowing that the twins would be leaving Iowa soon to go home to New York. Sara and Jonathan were so wonderful about letting me hold the babies as much as I wanted to.

 Johnny brought our kids to meet the twins, this was very important to me, I needed them to have closure too.

Two days after Asher and Celeste were born we were all ready to go home. It was a bittersweet goodbye, I was so proud to have helped Jon, Sara and the babies become a family but it was hard to let them all go. I wasn't sure how I would feel at this point, I was sad that they were leaving and I knew I would miss them but there was a peace about it all. I was ready to go home to my own babies and give them 100% of me again.

I said my goodbyes to the babies, there were tears for sure. 

Then the 4 of us (Sara, Jon, Johnny and I) hugged, we were all in tears in the entrance of the hospital. (Crying again as I type.) It was such a powerful moment for without any one of us, these little ones would not be here right now.

The Unsung Hero

It is obvious that it took Jonathan, Sara and myself to bring these babies into this world, however, there is one man that deserves A LOT of credit. When I first brought the idea of being a carrier up to Johnny he was against it, not for selfish reasons as he very well should have been. He wasn't afraid of picking up the slack at home or of his wife being hormonal, gaining weight and going through all the changes that pregnancy brings. He told me that he didn't want to see me go through labor again and that he was worried for my mental and physical well-being. He knows how emotional the births of our children were and he thought it would be too hard to give the baby up in the end.

After meeting with another couple that had carried and reading lots of articles he trusted that I knew what I was doing. From that moment on, he was all in, his support never wavered. Johnny flew to New Jersey with me, helped give me shots, carried every load of laundry up and down the stairs, picked up kids when I had appointments, this is a fraction of what he did. Most of all, he stood by my side while I went through childbirth once again. There are no words that can describe how much I love this man and how much I know he must love me. This is not a flattering picture of myself but it's the only picture I have of Johnny before the birth.

Being Home

In the past few days after going home I have steadily felt better and better. It is strange to recover without a newborn baby. I get texts from Sara and Jon all the time, pictures of the babies and asking me how I am. I do miss them greatly, but we plan to see them sometime this summer. By then they will be smiling and cooing and I really can't wait to see how much they will have grown. We are Aunt Des and Uncle Johnny, we are family.


A few more thank-yous.

I have to thank a few more people, of course my family, friends, coworkers and community for their support and encouragement, your thoughts, prayers and well-wishes were amazingly overwhelming. My mother-in-law, she helped so much with the kids. A big thank you to my nurse, Julie, and midwife, Pam...they were simply amazing. I literally don't think they left my room! Every single nurse and doctor at Genesis, they handled our unique situation with such professionalism, and understanding and were so accommodating to the babies' parents. JBD, the hospital social worker, she was behind the scenes making sure everything went as planned, there are so many pieces to this puzzle that were seamless because of her. Tina, at our surrogacy agency, she helped me make the decision to become a surrogate and was there for me throughout the entire process, she's an angel. There are specific thank yous that I will give in person but please know that it truly does take a village and I am so happy that so many of you chose to take this journey with us.

The Birth

They are here! After 12 weeks of injections, two trips to New Jersey and 38 weeks of waiting, two sweet babies were born. Sara and Jon's journey started long before this, and they are so in love with their little miracles.

The Induction 

Monday was 38 weeks, I can't believe we made it that far. I think they would have stayed in another week or maybe two if we had let them. The doctors informed us that in the last two weeks of a twin pregnancy, the risk of delivering  the babies can outweigh the benefits of keeping them in. With limited space there's a chance that one or both babies could stop thriving. 

We came in at 7 in the morning, none of us had slept a whole lot....how do you sleep when you know you're going to have twins the next day? 

I started the day dilated to 3cm 70-80% effaced. tested positive for the GBS (a very common skin bacteria that over 40% of people will test positive for. It doesn't affect the carrier but can affect the babies) and I needed 2 doses (4 hours apart) of antibiotic before I delivered so they started a very low dose of petocin along with the antibiotic. I wasn't really feeling any contractions at this point. 

By noon I got the second dose of antibiotic and they increased the petocin to get things going. This is when labor began. I had to stay in bed or the chair for the most part because they had to monitor 2 babies. This is not the way I am used to laboring, I'm used to walking the halls and taking charge. Artificial contractions (from petocin) and being relatively imobile was not the vision I had of labor but I had the most amazing husband, nurse and midwife that never left my side.  They had more confidence in me than I had in myself. 

My midwife gave me the opportunity to change positions as labor intensified, she was seriously amazing...rubbing my back and talking me through each contraction. 

Sara and Jon were in the room the whole time, but I was in the zone and not really speaking to anyone. Hardcore labor puts you in a completely different state of mind, almost meditative. I knew they were there though, supporting me and anticipating their babies' arrival. 

At about 2:30 or so I was dilated to 6-7 and my confidence was wavering. Soon after this, the contractions were very intense and I told my midwife that I didn't think I could do it. She said "give me 5 minutes on your hands and knees and I'll get you some meds" (this is a great position to move the baby down) sure enough about 5 minutes later I was fully dilated and ready to move to the operating room for delivery. She knew I was close and I'm so glad she didn't let me cave. Johnny, Jonathan and Sara got their white jumpsuits on and their blue

caps and we were ready to go.

As they were wheeling me to the operating room I asked my midwife "What can I have?" and she said "Twins!"

It's funny to me now lol. 

Delivery

Once we got into the operating room it all happened so fast. They didn't even move me to the operating room bed, I was ready to push baby Asher out, it was a couple of pushes and he was out. Jon got to catch him and emotion swept the room. They put Asher on my stomach so the cord could be cut. I am bawling right now just thinking about it. 

After the cord was cut they brought Asher to the warmer I saw Sara's face at this point, she was bawling and so happy..that was the moment...the moment I had been dreaming of. A pink, vibrant, healthy baby and two happy parents. They let me hold him once he got warm, he got really quiet and was very alert. He looked JUST like Jonathan! 

For that brief moment I forgot...."I have to do that again!" I realized that I had no idea how this part worked. Would I have to continue to labor? How long would it take? My questions were soon answered with a contraction and pressure, my midwife checked me and then broke baby B's water bag. They took Baby Asher back to the warmer. Baby B was ready to come out at this point. A couple more good pushes and 9 minutes after her brother, out comes Celeste, I found out later Jonathan caught her too. Like I said, it's all a bit of a blur. 

They put her on me to cut the cord and a huge wave of relief hit me. I did it, two healthy babies, a family created. No words can explain the emotions in that room, elation, relief, gratitude, pride...love.  

Post Birth (Possibly TMI :-)

After Celeste was born and she got warmed up they brought her to me so I could hold her. She was another perfect little peanut. After a few minutes I gave her back, it was time to get the placentas out (you can skip this part if you're squeamish). The first placenta came out without much effort but the second one was a different story. The second placenta had not detached, this is called retained placenta; this is when the placenta doesn't detach from the uterus on its own. This can cause bleeding and possibly hemorrhage. The midwife pulled on the cord and the cord detached from the placenta leaving her no choice but to manually remove the placenta. At this point they gave me some pain meds through my IV and called in the doctor. After several painful tries the anesthesiologist showed up and they decided I would need a D&C which also meant I'd be given a spinal. This is where I broke down, there was no way I just gave birth naturally to get a spinal. The doctor said she would try one last time, luckily she was able to get it. 

Soon I was returned to my room and got to see the babies. Asher was 5lb 1ounce and Celeste was 5lb 9 ounces, both 18 inches long. Though they were small, both were completely healthy. Absolutley no NICU time! 

I will post soon about the days following their birth along with pictures. 

37 Weeks 4 Days

 

Oh my gosh, just 3 days left...I'm getting nervous! I've never known when I was going to have a baby before...it's crazy to know for sure when they will be here. 

We had an ultrasound and NST before our appointment with the OB today. Babies are still both head down and have plenty of fluid. I am dilated to 3 and 70-80% effaced. We have a good start once labor begins. 

Jon and Sara came over last night and we enjoyed a relaxing and peaceful night in...just kidding....my kids hung on them and wrestled with them and I believe Easton may have inadvertently thrown food at them (he got a little excited while eating dinner). 

Here is a picture from our photo shoot. 

I feel good and I'm still sleeping well. My only complaint would be my swollen legs and feet. Today was my last day of work for a bit, I won't be gone too long 2-4 weeks at most. I suppose my next post might have a picture of a baby or two in it!!!!

This is a shirt Sara got me a while back. 

37 Weeks

We are down to ONE week...it is so surreal to think in one week these babies will no longer be inside of me. I feel good except my Fred Flintstone feet...I am going to post a pic to try to do justice as to just how large they have become. 

Other than that, everything is going well, we have 2 doctor appointments this week and my hope is that the babies will come sometime this weekend on their own. I'm not excited about the idea of being induced. The good part of being induced is that I will know that I have kept these babies in every last second that I could. 

 

⬆️ Seriously can't do justice with a picture lol. 

36 Weeks 4 Days

Jon made it to Iowa despite the weather this week. They came to our home for dinner on Tuesday and our crazy kids gave them a dose of reality...let's just say they weren't shy. 

Tonight we had a non-stress test and saw the doctor. My blood pressure was a little higher than usual so they sent me to the hospital for bloodwork and ultrasound. The bloodwork came back normal, my blood pressure went down and the ultrasound showed plenty of fluid. Both babies are looking amazing. Baby A is around 4lb 11oz and his sister is around 5lb 2oz. This isn't exact but it sounded good to us. They are both close to (or over) 5lbs which is awesome. 

We finally left the hospital at a quarter to nine and made our way to the hotel to have a late dinner with Jon's parents, the poor things were supposed to meet us at 6:30. They were delightful and worried about the babies. We assured them that everything was fine and enjoyed our meal and time together. 

In ten days or less the babies will be here and I can't wait!!